Holiday gift ideas for the Lakers

The holidays are approaching and the Lakers have been a naughty team this year. No one expected them to be quite this bad, and with a record of (3-21), they are on pace to be worse than last year!  I think we can stop feeling sad for a few days because the holiday season is a time for joy and giving (and receiving) a lot of gifts. The Lakers have not been on their best behavior, but they are still our favorite team, so what gifts should we give the players and what can the Lakers give us?

Gifts for the Lakers:

Kobe Bryant: A new pair of legs from Germany to give him a couple of years of his youth back. I don’t think it’s a surprise that Kobe is struggling in his 20th and final NBA season. He has endured multiple season ending surgeries these past few years and he has never looked the same since. Kobe looks old and slow on the court, but he has shown a few glimpses of his former self. It seems that when his legs are feeling great he can have performances like this and this. It’s known that Kobe visited Germany to have a procedure done on his legs in the past. I am not a medical expert, but if you want an explanation on the procedure you can go here. It would be cool if Kobe could somehow fly to Germany and get this procedure to help him finish his career off on a high note. Vintage Kobe is always better than struggling Kobe.

D’Angelo Russell: Keys to the offense and an Illuminati quotes book. D’Angelo Russell received a lot of playing time as of late and to no surprise he has been performing and excelling. Russell has shown over the past three contests that he can take over the game with the ball in his hands, averaging 20 points and four assists during that span. He also tallied a career high 24 points and five 3-pointers against the Spurs. If Russell can have the full keys to the offense and have the freedom to play his style of basketball then we can expect him to be averaging huge numbers. Other than basketball, it seems that Russell has taken an interest in retweeting a lot of quotes from an Illuminati Twitter account. I’m not sure the motive behind his interest, but if you follow him on Twitter you know what I mean. If the Illuminati can give him a book of their quotes, I think Russell will appreciate it tremendously.

Jordan Clarkson: New pair of basketball vision goggles. Jordan Clarkson is averaging two assists per game and I think that it should be higher. Clarkson averaged 3.5 assists last season and had shown the ability to pass the ball effectively. He also admitted in a recent lost to the Pistons that he needed to play more unselfishly instead of trying to force shots. Clarkson is scoring a career high 15 points per game, but I think his assists number could easily be higher. I’m pretty sure Clarkson could use new basketball lenses to help reduce his tunnel vision and improve his playmaking. Time to rack those assists up!

Roy Hibbert: Stickum or football gloves. Okay, I don’t know how many times a player makes a nice pass to Hibbert only for him to fumbled it away. I’m pretty sure there are a few times in a game where Russell and Kobe threw Hibbert a nice pass and he would not catch it. Roy’s hands are made out of stones so I think some Stickum would help him hold on to the ball more. Roy, please catch the ball.

Julius Randle: +10 shooting attribute boosts for the rest of the year: Julius Randle’s offense is to attack the rim at will, but sometimes Randle has struggled to score because of defenses clogging the paint. His offense is becoming predictable and he has to develop a consistent jump shot. Randle has shown on a few occasions that he can hit the mid-range shot but it is not enough of a threat for defenders to play him tighter. He needs an extra shooting boost (that works the same in real life as in NBA 2K, right?) to make his game less predictable and more effective. If he can prove to defenders that he can hit jump shots on a consistent basis, then that will allow him to drive to the paint with less congestion.

Marcelo Huertas: A plane ticket home. I know this may sound harsh, but I don’t think Huertas is an NBA player or one that should the first point guard off the bench. He has struggled against NBA competition and is not very good on defense. Huertas played 17 minutes against the Rockets on Saturday and turned the ball over 6 times. Huertas is a proven decent international player and he had flourished overseas, maybe after this season he should consider returning back to international play.

Tarik Black: A megaphone or a new hairdo. I don’t think Tarik Black has played a significant minute off the bench this season. He can’t even find minutes during a blowout game. I also think that Byron Scott seriously may not know Tarik is on the team. Black played for the D-Fenders on Sunday and performed extremely well. It doesn’t take a basketball expert to see that he needs playing time on the Lakers. He is a great pick-and-roll player that could help D’Angelo Russell tremendously. Black needs to make his voice heard, literally, he needs to use his megaphone and scream to acknowledge his presence to Bryon Scott. Or he could get a cool hairdo that will make him stand out. Whatever it takes to make Byron notice he is still on the roster.

Byron Scott: Coaching 101 handbook, this shirtor coal. Honestly, I’m not sure Byron deserves anything for the holidays.


What we want from the Lakers: Be competitive. The Lakers play the Clippers on Christmas night. The Lakers have struggled against the Clippers in recent meetings so it would be nice if they can keep it competitive. I just hope the score won’t be like this again. The last time the Lakers won on Christmas day was in 2012 against the Knicks.

If I am missing any gifts for any Lakers player, please let me know @thailuong33 or @LakersOutsiders

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